First Script Draft
*(Writers notes are written in this small font with an asterisks and brackets. Disclaimer: This is not the final script as it needs to be edited or rewritten at certain points).
1. INTRODUCTION:
BUSY PUBLIC STREET - MIDDAY
(tracking shot)
The screen fades from black to a medium shot of the back of someone's head with shoulder-length ginger hair.
We don't know who she is but she is dressed in casual but well put together clothes, through the denoted denim jacket.
She pushes/pulls open a pair of double doors to reveal a busy path as students all head home after school. When opening the door the piece is quickly filled with the sound of bustling and chatter as everyone's seen in groups and pairs.
Walking outside she turns left and joins the movement and direction of the crowd, it is a cheerful and loud environment.
As she has walked outside the noise of other people talking dims down and instead upbeat music plays.
She walks to the beat of the music, with a slight bounce to her step. There is the faint sound of footsteps to the beats, but it's not noticeable.
She continues to walk down the large path, until she reach the main path alongside the road, with the liveliness that surrounds her. On this main path there are people who are walking in the opposite direction who says shot words to her.
EXTRA 1. MAIN
(loud and lively)
Hey! I'll see you next week, yeah? Yeah,see you
EXTRA 2.
Bye
Extra 2 is seen with one of her arms linked onto her friends and the other hand waving frantically in big motions. Both character looking and smiling at the main as they see her.
*(The dialogue for this part is quite loose and vague and when filming the characters will be able to choose what they wish to say for their goodbyes to the main).
The camera continues to follow the main as she walks through the many people along the path, until she gets to the bus stop.
When reaching the bus stop she turns as sits down on the bench to face the camera. The camera stops tracking her and instead comes to a stop where she is in the centre. She has placed her bag down besides her and waits for the bus.
She is wearing a denim jacket, quite stylish and puts the outfit together. Her top is plain white however has been accessorised with the use of a silver cross. She fiddles with this almost impatiently.
The focus is on her on the bench and there is no-one else to be seen in the shot as she is not left alone.
* (She may be seen with people to contrast even more to the next shot however it depends on how many people of cast I have).
The music has died down at this point, but you can still hear the hectic people in the background.
2. HOUSE - DARK
(Graphic match) - *(Emphasise on the contrast between the scenes)
The same framing as the previous shot however now you see her slouched on the couch watching tv and eating snacks.
Around her there are packets of crisps opened and cans of fizzy drinks. She sits holding a white bowl with the words Cereal Killer written on it; she eats the cereal slowly and she intensively stares at the screen.
The brightness of the screen flashing onto her faces as she continuously watches the bore of shows. She states at the screen without taking an interest in its content, instead using it for light entertainment. The sounds of the voices on screen are muffled and mixed together but there is the prominent sound of a man with a low voice.
The scene is quiet, and only filled with the voices from the television and the slight gulps from the cereal.
Her blinks are slow, everything is slow.
She is lonely and bored, with nothing to do.
The sound of a ticking clock starts, and the sound starts arising. She sits up and starts swaying to the sound. She suddenly looks to the left, her eyes wide and curious.
With quick motions she stands up, grabs her jacket of the side of the sofa and strides off.
The screen follows her as she walks, swiping/ sliding to the next scene.
3. GUIDED-BUS WAY - EVENING
A long, wide, establishing shot denotes the large bushes and trees which border and corner in the sides of the guided-bus way. The shot is parallel to the tracks and path and is still.
There is the sound of birds that can be heard in the distance, but it is faint and fades away as they fly away. There is a small humming of crickets, which seems natural and acts as white noise.
After a few seconds the camera starts tracking/ crabbing along the path until a female, roughly in her twenties is seen walking along the route.
Her pace slows down as feels a presence or noise behind. As she turns around to see if anything is there, all she see is the empty path and the rustling or leaves from the bushes.
At this time of day the guided-bus way is quiet, abandoned an deserted as the busyness has died down from school and work.
She is seen to be wearing a white t-shirt, black jeans and her hair covering her face. She has her headphones in which can be heard to be playing a rosy, well-known song. The music suggests some happy and peaceful however the audience awaits for something else.
Turning back around she is faced with a hooded figure.
You see the figure approach the girl quickly, aggressively and intentionally. (*the camera follows them shakily as they walk with quite the pace).
(*Either eerie, suspenseful music will start playing with a quick pace, or the well-known music of the iPhone will start playing which contrasts to what is happening).
Their hood covering their face making them unknown. They're whispering something under their breath. Almost a mantra that is repeating with twists and spites of sounds.
A split second and then..
PERSON 1.
(loud and shockingly)
1. INTRODUCTION:
BUSY PUBLIC STREET - MIDDAY
(tracking shot)
The screen fades from black to a medium shot of the back of someone's head with shoulder-length ginger hair.
We don't know who she is but she is dressed in casual but well put together clothes, through the denoted denim jacket.
She pushes/pulls open a pair of double doors to reveal a busy path as students all head home after school. When opening the door the piece is quickly filled with the sound of bustling and chatter as everyone's seen in groups and pairs.
Walking outside she turns left and joins the movement and direction of the crowd, it is a cheerful and loud environment.
As she has walked outside the noise of other people talking dims down and instead upbeat music plays.
She walks to the beat of the music, with a slight bounce to her step. There is the faint sound of footsteps to the beats, but it's not noticeable.
She continues to walk down the large path, until she reach the main path alongside the road, with the liveliness that surrounds her. On this main path there are people who are walking in the opposite direction who says shot words to her.
EXTRA 1. MAIN
(loud and lively)
Hey! I'll see you next week, yeah? Yeah,see you
EXTRA 2.
Bye
Extra 2 is seen with one of her arms linked onto her friends and the other hand waving frantically in big motions. Both character looking and smiling at the main as they see her.
*(The dialogue for this part is quite loose and vague and when filming the characters will be able to choose what they wish to say for their goodbyes to the main).
The camera continues to follow the main as she walks through the many people along the path, until she gets to the bus stop.
When reaching the bus stop she turns as sits down on the bench to face the camera. The camera stops tracking her and instead comes to a stop where she is in the centre. She has placed her bag down besides her and waits for the bus.
She is wearing a denim jacket, quite stylish and puts the outfit together. Her top is plain white however has been accessorised with the use of a silver cross. She fiddles with this almost impatiently.
The focus is on her on the bench and there is no-one else to be seen in the shot as she is not left alone.
* (She may be seen with people to contrast even more to the next shot however it depends on how many people of cast I have).
The music has died down at this point, but you can still hear the hectic people in the background.
2. HOUSE - DARK
(Graphic match) - *(Emphasise on the contrast between the scenes)
The same framing as the previous shot however now you see her slouched on the couch watching tv and eating snacks.
Around her there are packets of crisps opened and cans of fizzy drinks. She sits holding a white bowl with the words Cereal Killer written on it; she eats the cereal slowly and she intensively stares at the screen.
The brightness of the screen flashing onto her faces as she continuously watches the bore of shows. She states at the screen without taking an interest in its content, instead using it for light entertainment. The sounds of the voices on screen are muffled and mixed together but there is the prominent sound of a man with a low voice.
The scene is quiet, and only filled with the voices from the television and the slight gulps from the cereal.
Her blinks are slow, everything is slow.
She is lonely and bored, with nothing to do.
The sound of a ticking clock starts, and the sound starts arising. She sits up and starts swaying to the sound. She suddenly looks to the left, her eyes wide and curious.
With quick motions she stands up, grabs her jacket of the side of the sofa and strides off.
The screen follows her as she walks, swiping/ sliding to the next scene.
3. GUIDED-BUS WAY - EVENING
A long, wide, establishing shot denotes the large bushes and trees which border and corner in the sides of the guided-bus way. The shot is parallel to the tracks and path and is still.
There is the sound of birds that can be heard in the distance, but it is faint and fades away as they fly away. There is a small humming of crickets, which seems natural and acts as white noise.
After a few seconds the camera starts tracking/ crabbing along the path until a female, roughly in her twenties is seen walking along the route.
Her pace slows down as feels a presence or noise behind. As she turns around to see if anything is there, all she see is the empty path and the rustling or leaves from the bushes.
At this time of day the guided-bus way is quiet, abandoned an deserted as the busyness has died down from school and work.
She is seen to be wearing a white t-shirt, black jeans and her hair covering her face. She has her headphones in which can be heard to be playing a rosy, well-known song. The music suggests some happy and peaceful however the audience awaits for something else.
Turning back around she is faced with a hooded figure.
You see the figure approach the girl quickly, aggressively and intentionally. (*the camera follows them shakily as they walk with quite the pace).
(*Either eerie, suspenseful music will start playing with a quick pace, or the well-known music of the iPhone will start playing which contrasts to what is happening).
Their hood covering their face making them unknown. They're whispering something under their breath. Almost a mantra that is repeating with twists and spites of sounds.
A split second and then..
PERSON 1.
(loud and shockingly)
AHHHHHHHHH!
The figure forcefully shoves a knife through the torso of the girl making her scream out in pain, horror and shock.
What had just happened?
The girl looks at the figure with wide eyes and her mouth dropping down. Her face turns pale as the life is taking out of her.
She raises her arm up to grab onto the collar of the figure only for the figure to rip out the knife from her body.
The girl drops her arms looking down at her stomach. She doesn't know what has just happened, she is utter shock.
You see the slight spreading of blood that starts to pour out from the wound. It is fresh, heavy and bloody.
Her hands start shaking as she slowly touches the wound. Her lips start trembling, as she tries to prevent the spreading of blood by adding pressure.
Applying pressure she looks around frantically.
PERSON 1.
(pleading and helpless)
H-el-l-pp me, help me! Someone help me
She cries out asking for help, but there's no-one in sight, it is dead and quiet.
As she screams out with all her might the lose of blood catches up on her and she hunches over.
Clutching onto her stomach she starts coughing vigorously, splatters of blood spraying onto the footpath.
Her breath heavy and gasping for breaths.
Struggling, she reaches in her pocket to get hold of her phone. Trying to pull it out it slips from her bloodied hands falling to the floor.
With her struggles she falls to her knees, crying, whining.
Her tears stream down her face and blood covering her mouth.
With her final breaths she falls to the ground.
Still conscious she reaches out for her phone, her fingertips shakily and hopelessly attempt to grab it however she doesn't have enough energy.
There is a close-up of her phone where you see the iconic song playing, the playlist of her death.
You see the last movement of her body fall to the ground, with slight twitches with a birds-eye view. The blood oozes out of her body with no intentions to stop creating a large blood pool around her.
She's dead.
The screen fades to black and takes a couple of seconds to let the last image linger in the minds of the audience.
4. HOME / THERAPY - DAY
The scenes starts with a medium shot of the main dressed in different (*?) clothing than the first scene. It is both casual but unusual as it is a bit more expressive. She is sat on a chat upright infront/ next to a window.
The sunlight shines through the window giving the shot a bright and happy atmosphere as it is a new day.
She is situated on the first third looking into the bottom left corner at someone else.
Off screen you hear the therapist ask. During the main both glares at the therapist as well as fiddling and pulling at the hem of the bottom of her clothes.
Therapist
So, how have you been feeling lately?
Main
Quite normal thank you, and you?
The main looks off to the left of the screen and folds her arms, breaking the eye contact with her therapist.
(shot reverse shot)
You see her therapist facing the main, she holds a clipboard and pen. There is a series of looking down at the board and then looking at the main which repeats as she asks each questions.
The therapist sighs as the mains answers are vague and short.
Therapist
What have you been doing as of late?
The scene cuts to a close up of the washing of blood off of a pair of hands vigorously.
The blood washes down the sink continuously, with a bright bold colour.
You hear a series of whispers in the background.
Whisper 1.
Good job, you killed her
The scene cuts back to the therapy session.
Main
Mainly watching TV, eating cereal...
Therapist
Anything else?
There is an extreme zoom on the main, with a quick sound of flipping through memories.
(quick cuts)
There is a cut of her ripping down a photo of the girl off a bulletin board, which is covered with multiple other faces.
You see her dragging the leg of the body.
She has a lighter and sets alight to the photo.
She throws the photo in a bin which is filled already with multiple other photos of people.
There is a medium shot of the whole bulletin board filled with portraits of people.
Main
Nothing I can think of
It fades to black.
The title The Breakfast Killers fades on in bold red font.
The figure forcefully shoves a knife through the torso of the girl making her scream out in pain, horror and shock.
What had just happened?
The girl looks at the figure with wide eyes and her mouth dropping down. Her face turns pale as the life is taking out of her.
She raises her arm up to grab onto the collar of the figure only for the figure to rip out the knife from her body.
The girl drops her arms looking down at her stomach. She doesn't know what has just happened, she is utter shock.
You see the slight spreading of blood that starts to pour out from the wound. It is fresh, heavy and bloody.
Her hands start shaking as she slowly touches the wound. Her lips start trembling, as she tries to prevent the spreading of blood by adding pressure.
Applying pressure she looks around frantically.
PERSON 1.
(pleading and helpless)
H-el-l-pp me, help me! Someone help me
She cries out asking for help, but there's no-one in sight, it is dead and quiet.
As she screams out with all her might the lose of blood catches up on her and she hunches over.
Clutching onto her stomach she starts coughing vigorously, splatters of blood spraying onto the footpath.
Her breath heavy and gasping for breaths.
Struggling, she reaches in her pocket to get hold of her phone. Trying to pull it out it slips from her bloodied hands falling to the floor.
With her struggles she falls to her knees, crying, whining.
Her tears stream down her face and blood covering her mouth.
With her final breaths she falls to the ground.
Still conscious she reaches out for her phone, her fingertips shakily and hopelessly attempt to grab it however she doesn't have enough energy.
There is a close-up of her phone where you see the iconic song playing, the playlist of her death.
You see the last movement of her body fall to the ground, with slight twitches with a birds-eye view. The blood oozes out of her body with no intentions to stop creating a large blood pool around her.
She's dead.
The screen fades to black and takes a couple of seconds to let the last image linger in the minds of the audience.
4. HOME / THERAPY - DAY
The scenes starts with a medium shot of the main dressed in different (*?) clothing than the first scene. It is both casual but unusual as it is a bit more expressive. She is sat on a chat upright infront/ next to a window.
The sunlight shines through the window giving the shot a bright and happy atmosphere as it is a new day.
She is situated on the first third looking into the bottom left corner at someone else.
Off screen you hear the therapist ask. During the main both glares at the therapist as well as fiddling and pulling at the hem of the bottom of her clothes.
Therapist
So, how have you been feeling lately?
Main
Quite normal thank you, and you?
The main looks off to the left of the screen and folds her arms, breaking the eye contact with her therapist.
(shot reverse shot)
You see her therapist facing the main, she holds a clipboard and pen. There is a series of looking down at the board and then looking at the main which repeats as she asks each questions.
The therapist sighs as the mains answers are vague and short.
Therapist
What have you been doing as of late?
The scene cuts to a close up of the washing of blood off of a pair of hands vigorously.
The blood washes down the sink continuously, with a bright bold colour.
You hear a series of whispers in the background.
Whisper 1.
Good job, you killed her
The scene cuts back to the therapy session.
Main
Mainly watching TV, eating cereal...
Therapist
Anything else?
There is an extreme zoom on the main, with a quick sound of flipping through memories.
(quick cuts)
There is a cut of her ripping down a photo of the girl off a bulletin board, which is covered with multiple other faces.
You see her dragging the leg of the body.
She has a lighter and sets alight to the photo.
She throws the photo in a bin which is filled already with multiple other photos of people.
There is a medium shot of the whole bulletin board filled with portraits of people.
Main
Nothing I can think of
It fades to black.
The title The Breakfast Killers fades on in bold red font.
some good planning
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